It's All Fucked Up!

This is what I want to say to someone who just doesn't ever listen!


Dear Avery(AKA My DELUSIONAL Husband),

I hate you. I hate you so much. There is not amount of love between us that can fix where we are. You have this CRAZY notion about marriage that we are now an constant unit. I am not Andrea and you are not Avery, but we are hence forth always Andrea and Avery. And NO! I did NOT sign up for that. I wanted to share our lives with each other. Because I truly believed I love you.

YOU however are NOT my obsession. YOU are NOT the only person in my life. You are NOT the only musician I like. YOU are NOT going to tell me what is right for ME!

I will not tell you what to do. I will not dictate this relationship. You are just as free to walk away from this if you don't like it. Hell you know what, you have walked away. You left. You HAD to move across the fucking country. To a small, small town...this is coming from the man who told me he needed a city. New York City...Orlando...LA...and where are you? Clarkston, WA...does anyone know where the fuck that is?!

GOD! I just HATE you! How did I get to be this way, Avery? How the hell did I get so damn insecure that I can't leave you straight on YOUR ass and not look back?! Hell you can do that to me! But no. I am so damn convinced is that you are all I am ever going to get!!! The best I can ever have! And I'm not worth looking for something better! Seriously, WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?!

Apparently I am killing myself in your eyes. That I am detrimental to my own health. Well, Just leave me be, and think I am dead. Please. Just let me be. Let me die in your eyes.

With that, goodbye.
Andrea