This is what I'm thinking...nothing! That's a lie...
How do you forget what you told someone...that is hurtful? Seriously! Doesn't make sense to me...
What constitutes being happy? I mean smiles all the time or is it just not being miserable? I mean can content be happy?
And who is anyone to tell you how you are suppose to be? I mean, no one ever really figures it out, b/c you are ALWAYS evolving. People are spounges and even if they think they aren't absorning they are, it just might not be as obvious as others. People are influenced by EVERYTHING. From other people, TV, movies, music, environment. So if you are changing those things around you, you change. No if's and's or but's. Right? SO who I am now, is not who I was or who I will be. So, to wait for someone or yourself to be something "better" isn't the smartest thing to do. "You aren't ready for...blah blah" or "I'm not ready for blah blah." You won't know until you're put in the situation. SO, I am who I am...And now this OLD Jonas Brothers Song is in my head...
And why do people feel like they are OWED something? Just because they exist. WTF?! I don't think so. You get out what you put in...you aren't owed anything for existing. I recognize I am where I am b/c I got me here. So it's up to me to change it if I want! But that doesn't mean I can't complain, don't get me wrong...you can whine all you want, but just not to anyone. I choose to whine to people who will listen or to myself, but I know it's in my hands...that's not a new concept. Anyone can have a pity party, that's just human. But that pity party isn't going to FIX anything, it just lets you be a little self-indulgent, which is ok...just a waste and if thats what you want to do then hey! Party away!
Nothing is worth the stress I put on myself, which is something I am coming to realize. I think about it more and more often, its just now I am putting into practice. I might be over doing it, but dude, I have been wound so tight the past 6 or 7 years, for me to just take a break doesn't seem so bad to me. It doesn't mean I don't care, but I am not putting any effort in drama or defenses...and when I feel done with something, then I'm done. I'm sorry if you guys get some of it, but dude, I have WAY more gray hair than I need. I need some fun and mindless entertainment sometimes. I need to think and say what I feel and be up front, and tell you what needs to be said, but I won't sit on a topic if its not doing anything. Just sitting and talking about the whats and whys won't fix it....this is what it is, so now where do we go from here...not, how did that happen...I know how it happened, doesn't matter, I understand where I went wrong, but now onto what needs to be done to rectify it. Make sense?
Hannah Montana got it right...Life's what you make it! HAHAHAHAHA! Sorry thats what was playing on my iPod...
Well, I guess that's all that is on my mind as of now...who knows what I might post later!
BTW- I wrote this about a week ago and just now posting it! Stay tuned for some more crap coming your way!
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Thought 1: repetition keeps the memory fresh. Without repetition, the memory will be smoothed over by other things in time.
ReplyDeleteThought 2: What constitues being unhappy? There's a clear definition in our minds of unhappiness. It's just the opposite of being that. For me, I'm happy when I'm at peace, and I'm at peace when I don't recognize how I feel. To be content can mean to be happy, yes. It allows for a deeper understanding, in my mind.
Thought 3: You respond to anything the way you respond to it. That's what makes you unique. Be excited, angry, hurt, sad, its part of what defines you to others.
Thought 4: To an extent. There are still certain constants in a person. i.e. the idiosyncracies and nature that define your nephew now will remain constant for the rest of his life. He may chose to hide them, or to show them off, but they will be a part of him forever. It's a part of his nature. It's something he always will be. Not everything we are is dictated by our environment. The way we respond to things is, but not our core selves. If it were the case, I'd be a hardened heartless asshole by now. I'm still a gooey mess inside. For the rest of that thought, true, procrastination never got anything done for anybody. Waiting for a better situation or for something better or for anything period never works. That's refreshing to hear coming from you. :)
Thought 5: If a debt is created, a debt should be paid. If someone gave something to another, and gave it expecting a return, then that return should be met, or what was given should not have been received. I'm the only person I can think of that you've created a debt with, but I'm not asking for you to make it up or pay it back - I'm erasing all of it if you give us an honest chance. You are, so it's all good. No, a breath does not constitute a debt to someone else. That breath is your own, your life is your own. I chose to believe that my breath I breathe is given to me by someone who's died, or did not become, and I should use it to honor that person's gift. That's not owing someone, though. That's making the most out of what I have. Only so many breaths can be breathed on this planet after all. It also keeps me from doing stupid stuff when I get bored. Like I like to do.
Thought 6: Nope. It's not. It's mostly transitory insignificant melodrama. It's easy to get worked up when everyone around you gets worked up about it. They just don't know any better. Someone who has a bad day at work might have dropped some papers on the floor. Another person might have been overseas and had a fellow soldier have his right leg and arm blown off by a land mine. But those paper-droppers react very strongly to such trivial things because they haven't been exposed to war. No, I don't think that everyone should experience it first hand - even trained soldiers can't handle it sometimes. Remember David, and how frail he was when he got back? Jumped at everything, snapped at everyone, and was a taxi driver. Still a good man, but wasn't made for war. Other people I've talked with joke about shrapnel that's still working its way out of their bodies in little black sand-bits from where they got blown off their hummer, or the like. A good rule of thumb for perspective without going to a battlefield or starving village: If it won't be an issue in five years, it shouldn't matter now. It works. Trust me. :) For the topic thing, that's fine, but if you're in a conversation, the other side matters too. If they're still talking about it, or trying to make sense of it, help them make sense of it. don't just say "On to the next" before they understand. Otherwise, you're just as good to talk with yourself, if you're not willing to listen. For you to say something doesn't matter to you does not mean that it does not matter to whom you're talking with. If they ask, help them understand if you know the answer. Then they can act based on the truth and with the best knowledge they can get, so they make the best choices they can. If someone's asking you for information to base a decision off of, don't take that lightly. It's a respect-thing. They respect you, therefore they ask you. Feel respected. It's a good thing.
Thought 8: I'm glad Hannah Montana got it through to you. I've only been saying the exact same thing for years. Maybe it's that whole LISTENING thing.... ;p
Keep posting them. I like reading.